Life!

Two Trojans walk down to the main square to find their brethren slaughtered and a giant empty wooden horse. They see several Greek soldiers approaching.  One Trojan slaps his forehead and exclaims, "Argg, Mondays suck!"

Use this one on an annoying friend

You: Knock knock.

Them: Who's there?

You: Shut up.

Them: Shut up who?

You: I thought I told you to shut up.

Knocking

Knock knock?

Who's there?

Fond.

Fond who?

Great idea, I love chocolate.

Knock Knock #4

Knock knock?

Who's there?

Internal Reven.

Internal Reven who?

Really? You want to talk about the IRS now? I thought we were telling jokes!

Knocky Knocky

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Milled.

Milled who?

Oh no! I'm allergic.

Knock Knock

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Wah.

Wah who?

What are you, on a rollercoaster?

Hey!

Shouldn't a female mannequin be called a girlequin?

Word Play

The general leads the Roman emperor to the top of a knoll.  They look down over a bustling city with every house on stilts.  "I did what you commanded," says the general proudly. The emperor's face turns red with anger.  "What's the matter?" asked the general.  The emperor turns and says, "You idiot! I said I wanted the city razed - not raised!"  And with that, slaps the general in the back of the head and with that the general says glumly, "I hate Mondays!"