Massages are Too Relaxing

A man lies down on a massage table. With the sound of babbling brooks playing and the lighting low and warm, it’s a very relaxing atmosphere. The masseuse enters. She has the calming demeanor of a spiritual guru with long braids and beads around her neck. “Mmm,” she purrs in sultry voice, “let’s begin.” She holds up a handful of smooth stones. The man says, “Ohh, are those heated stones going to relax the muscles in my lower back?” She closes her eyes and with a warm smile says, ”Mmm, yes. These stones will do exactly that. Pure relaxation is our goal.” The man smiles as she places the stones on his back. She opens a bottle of oil. “Ohh, will that oil loosen the muscles on my shoulders?” She closes her eyes and with a tranquil smile says, “Mmm, yes, this oil will do exactly that. The oil will seep into the skin and release the tension. Pure relaxation is our goal.” She rubs the oil on his shoulders. Next she lights a match. The man says, “Ohh, will the heat of the match draw out the toxins in my skin?” She smiles her deep warm smile, closes her eyes, and purrs, “Mmm, no. I just farted.”