Windows.

How come nobody wants to be a window?

Because it's a pane.

Dino.

What do you call a dinosaur with a knowledge of the fine arts?

A Connoissaur.

Birds 2.0

What did the bird workout at the gym?

His pecks.

Cafe.

Why is it expensive to have a cold in a Starbucks?

Because of the cough-fees.

Potty.

What did the turd use to wash its hair?

Sham-poo.

Tea.

How does Earl Grey laugh?

Tea hee hee.

Heartbreak.

What did one germ say to the other while breaking up?

You make me sick!

Ducks.

Why did the flock of ducks go broke?

Too many bills.

Cat.

What do cats make good story tellers?

Because they have the best tales.

Hannibal.

Did you know Hannibal Lecter wanted to be a knight so bad he made a coat of arms?

Boing

What's a kangaroos favorite job?

A bouncer

Technology 2.0

What do you call an iPad that teaches you life lessons?

an iDad

Turkey.

Why didn't the turkey eat dessert?

Because it was stuffed.

Serpent.

What was the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-tory.

Science.

What did the man who studied plants do when he broke his patella?

He botany.

Birds.

What do you get when you put a goose in a car?

Honk honk.

Gouls.

What do baby vampires say?

I van't to suck your thummmbbbbb.

Felines.

Why don't I watch TV with my cat?

Because it keeps pressing paws.

Jungle Gym.

What did the cheetah say to the gymnast?

Don't worry, I'll spot you.

Knock.

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Hike.

Hike who?

No thanks, I don't care for poetry.