Grammar

Did you hear about the sentence that went rogue?

He's a rebel without a clause.

Binky The Clown

Why was the clown put in quarantine?

Because his smile was infectious.

The Red Baron

Why does Charlie Brown take his pole dancing routine so seriously?

Because he's tired of doing comic strips. 

chicken

What do you call a chicken that has to do everything just right?

A per-peck-tionist.

Bread

How come nobody cares about Indian flatbread?

Because it's a naan-entity.